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Finding Healing

The first thing I do when I go through intense emotional upheavals or get stuck in a challenging situation is go to a bookstore and spend hours at the self-help books section. I know that books have been written about different ways on "how to," so finding a book that specifically addresses my turmoil is an out breath - a relief. I'd sit, order a cup of coffee, and pour through the book as if my world depends on it. This is how I found Pema Chodron's writings. While reading her book, "When Things Fall Apart," I found solace, peace and understanding in her writings. One of the best lessons I learned is that - whether it's pain or happiness, such feelings or any feelings must be accepted and felt wholeheartedly.

Most of us are uncomfortable with pain, and we try so many things to avoid the ache or find things or activities to distract us from feeling the hurt. We turn on the TV, full blast the radio, and get busy socially. But according to the teachings of Chodron, these are ordinary fixes. The best way to handle pain is to feel it at full blast. Feel how your chest collapses or how your breathing tightens. For it is during this time, "in the midst of chaos, that we can discover the truth and love that are indestructible."

I am reading another book by Chodron, and again, I am finding myself truly inspired. Today, I leave you with a wonderful quote from one of her books, The Wisdom of No Escape.


“There's a common misunderstanding among all the human beings who have ever been born on the earth that the best way to live is to try to avoid pain and just try to get comfortable. You can see this even in insects and animals and birds. All of us are the same.

A much more interesting, kind, adventurous, and joyful approach to life is to begin to develop our curiosity, not caring whether the object of our inquisitiveness is bitter or sweet. To lead a life that goes beyond pettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure that everything turns out on our own terms, to lead a more passionate, full, and delightful life than that, we must realize that we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is, how we tick and how our world ticks, how the whole thing just is.”

Comments

  1. I love inspiring books. This one is good Kayni, i just read Paulo Coelho's By ther River Piedra I sat Down and Wept, and i find it very inspiring.

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  2. Sheng, I've seen a few of Paule Coelho's books. I'll try to read them too. Thanks.

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  3. wow! those are strong words! but pain is part of life...it's one of the things that makes us more human. and cliche as it seems, pain makes us stronger.

    have a great day kayni! :)

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  4. "The best way to handle pain is to feel it at full blast. Feel how your chest collapses or how your breathing tightens. For it is during this time, "in the midst of chaos, that we can discover the truth and love that are indestructible."

    So true. I was told one time to just "feel the emotions." Just ride the tidal wave that it is and don't deny it. It is only through acknowledging and naming the feeling that you can move on.

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  5. kg, I agree. Pain is a spice of life that should be felt in total acceptance. Life is meaningless without pain.

    Toni, Exactly, "ride it out" is the right word.

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  6. "..misunderstanding that...the best way to live is to try to avoid pain and just try to get comfortable."

    This is so true. I guess this applies to people wanting to fall in love but hold back, people wanting to find the true meaning of life but get scared to venture out, or people wanting to go into business, like we do.

    We have always wanted to go into business but always change our mind because we are afraid to lose everything (that's painful).

    We are so used to the comforts we have now that losing everything scares us into even tying it out. But it seems that if we never try it out, we'll never find out how sweet the rewards are.

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  7. Hi Josiet, I understand your fear of trying new things. I, too, go through the same experience. Sometimes, and when it is applicable, it is better to not think and just do it and let things take its course.

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