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Life Always Has Other Plans

Sleep has eluded me lately. I used to get a good six to seven hours of sleep, but lately my nights are spent tossing, turning, staring at the ceiling, and when I'm lucky enough to get some shut eye, I'd wake up every hour.

This is the fourth time I've tried to write this post. Simply because I'm having a hard time finding my words and putting my emotions where they should be. I feel disconnected from my current world because part of me wishes to run away from it. It's spring and it's supposed to be the season of beauty. However, I feel devoid of the euphoric feeling that usually accompanies this season of rebirth and rejuvenation.

Kwanzan Cherry Blossoms in the neighborhood.

It was around mid-December when Kepi started noticing that his right ear's hearing was muffled and that the ringing was getting louder. We thought it was just a simple ear infection so Kepi got referred to see an ENT Specialist. The ENT did some tests but he couldn't find anything wrong. On the first week of April, he finally ordered a brain MRI, and a week after, we found out that Kepi has brain tumor.

I cried. I can't imagine how Kepi felt, but I felt like my world's falling apart - again. That same feeling of fear and uncertainty when I was diagnosed with Severe Aplastic Anemia is back.

Team Kepi

After the MRI results, Kepi was referred to a neurosurgeon. We met him on the 17th and he told us that there's a 5 cm tumor located above Kepi's right ear and that there are two more small brain tumors in the middle and somewhere on the left. The surgeon recommended that the bigger tumor should be removed surgically as it's been causing some swelling/pressure on Kepi's brain. The surgeon thinks that the tumor is non-cancerous (it's also growing outside the membrane protecting the brain) but the only way to find out is to do a biopsy once the tumor is taken out. So in the next couple of months, Kepi will be getting another brain MRI in preparation for his surgery. His surgeon said the surgery will take six to eight hours and he will probably need a month to recuperate.

At the moment, we are proceeding as we should and taking each day as it comes. There are times worry and fear overwhelm my every thought, but I'm fighting to be happy. Pain is here but I can't simply stop chasing after happiness. Life has always other plans, so we just have to roll with it and keep up with the good fight.

No matter what happens and as long as Kepi and I have each other, then we have everything.




Comments

  1. So sorry about this development. You have my support and especially my prayers. I don't know what else to say. Words elude me as well in times like this.

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    1. Thank you, Photo Cache. We are fighting constantly to be happy and to be positive.

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  2. My prayers for the both of you. You are right as long you have each other and with a strong faith, everything else will fall into its rightful place. Be strong Kayni! God bless!

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    1. Thank you for the prayers. Yes we will remain strong and our faith in God will keep us rooted.

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  3. I'm so sorry to hear your stressful news. I hope and pray that Kepi's tmer will be non malignant and that he will recover quickly. A wonderful woman in my neighborhood had similar surgery a year ago and she is doing well now and plays tennis every day. Keep hope ((hugs))

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    1. Hello Pat, Thank you for visiting. We are hopeful and we remain positive. I'm really praying that Kepi's recovery will go well, and it's great to hear about your neighbor who have had a similar surgery doing well. These are the kind of stories that give us hope. Hugs back.

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  4. I'm lost for words. I was recalling the day we met him and spent time with both of you. Could hardly believe the other events/information that unfolded after that. We'll be including you in our prayers, always. You're stronger than what you can I inagine. I so agree that as long as you're a teamwork and with God's protection, everything will turn out fine eventually. Take care, Kayni and Kepi!

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    1. It was so fast. The news really broke us, but we are fighters and we won't give up. Thank you so much for your prayers and support. We miss you guys. We hope to see you guys again soon.

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  5. There goes the saying that God doesn't give us anything we can't handle because He will pull us through. As long as we hold on to Him. You'll both be in my prayers, Kayni. Take heart, God is always with you! :)

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    1. Thank you. Yes, He will look after us and He is always with us no matter what.

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  6. I am so sorry to hear this news. I hope everything goes well and that Kepi will soon be on the path of recovery.

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    1. I am hoping and praying that all will be well and Kepi will recover fast from his surgery. I am keeping strong.

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  7. Sorry to hear about this news. It is admirable that you still strive to keep a good fight despite everything. My prayers for you and Kepi.

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  8. Sorry to hear about this terrible news. Praying for both of you. Hang on there...God has great plans.

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