Family is a bit of a downer these days. Don't get me wrong. I love my family very much, but some family members are just not loving me back. Anyway, it's some issue I just don't want to write in specifics, but I do want to put my frustration in the open. There are times I really wish I could change someone or something, but I'm learning that, that isn't the solution. Some people don't want to change for the better. It really breaks my heart that sometimes, your own blood could do hurtful things to you. And even if you put all your efforts to keep the family together, someone just enjoys breaking the family apart. It is exhausting and frustrating. I've been feeling angry about this. Although I want these problems resolved, circumstances just won't allow it or certain people won't allow it.
Is there really a perfect family? Mine is full of imperfections, but it's my home - my own. It has come to a point where I feel helpless. I've been trying to understand what is going on and where did things go wrong, but I can't seem to get to the bottom of this. I wish there is a guideline or book about solving family problems; Is there? Looking at the efforts I've put into this, the solution is further than ever - not a hint and not even a shadow.
I think I've had enough and that I've given my best. This time, I am thinking of walking away.