Sunday, June 21, 2009

A Man's Love

Going back to Steve Harvey's book, I quoted him on his statement on women's love here. This is a question to women who have fallen in-love, isn't that description Harvey gave "exactly how [women] expect men to love them" back? I mean, to those who've already found - The One - don't you wish that sometimes your man will love you the way you love him? Here's Harvey's explanation of a man's love:

Well, I'm here to tell you that expecting that kind of love - that perfection - from a man is unrealistic. That's right, I said it - it's not gonna happen, no way, no how. Because a man's love isn't like a woman's love.

Don't get it confused, now - I'm not saying that we're not capable of loving. I'm just saying that a man's love is different - much more simple, direct, and probably a little harder to come by...It's just different from the love that women give and, in a lot of case, want.

I argue that if you simply recognize how, exactly, a man loves, you might find that the man standing in front of you is, indeed, giving you his all and then some. How do you know when a man loves you? Simple: he will do each of the following three things.

Profess - a man will have a title for his woman - my woman, my baby mama, etc.
Provide - a man who loves you will bring that money home to make sure that you and the kids have what you all need.
Protect - when a man truly loves you, anybody who says, does, suggests, or even thinks about doing something offensive to you stands the risk of being obliterated.

In sum, ladies, you have to stop heaping your own definition of love on men and recognize that men love differently. A man's love fits only into three categories. As I've explained, I call them "The Three Ps of Love - Profess, Provide, and Protect. A man may not go shopping with you to buy the new dress for your office party, but a real man will escort you to that party, hold your hand, and proudly introduce you all around the party as his lady (profess); he may not cuddle you and sit by the bed holding your hand while you're sick, but a real man who loves you will make sure the prescription is filled, heat up a can of soup, and make sure everybody is in position until you are better (provide); and he may not willingly change diapers, wash the dishes, and rub your feet after a hot bath, but a real man who loves you sure will walk through a mountain and on water before he'd let someone bring any hurt or harm to you (protect). This much you can believe.

I would like to hear from both men and women if this is true or not. Comment away!


  1. That's pretty much how it is. In relationships, we can never really tell who loves whom more, because men and women love in diffrent ways.
    The three P's are quite accurate.
    When a man loves you, there's always a possessive thing when he introduces you. Sort of like marking his territory.
    Money is one of the most important things. And when your man trusts you to handle his finances, you can bet your ass that he loves you.
    And all men wouldn't let harm in any way go to his loved ones.

  2. Rico, Thank you for sharing what you think.

  3. Steve Harvey is absolutely right.

    In a relationship, We should never measure the quality of love, we should merely love to the best of our ability without expecting the same amount from our partners.
    If we do, we (Women) will always be frustrated most of the time.

    On a personal note, I guess I should count myself very lucky that my hubby is the type who is willing to go shopping with me, washes the dishes and I'm positive in the future he will be willing to change diapers too. :D
    So I'm truly blessed!

  4. What I've learned so far: a man will love you in his own way and each man differs from the other. Unhappiness sets in when a woman starts having these fixed ideas in our minds about how he should act or what he should say, then disappointment sets in when he doesn't do/say the things she expects from him. I guess this is why most 'arranged' marriages work -- there are no expectations (or very low ones, if any) and the couple just works things out as they crop up.

    It gets even more complicated in intermarriages due to the cultural differences.

    In the end, I'll quote something that I've learned from one of my Philosophy classes: "Love is not a feeling, it is a decision."


  5. yes, i think that is true. they will never share how much love they have for us nor say "I love you" that often but a man who truly loves will give you the three Ps and more....he will be faithful to you.

  6. Daphne, Mimi and Kero, Thank you for sharing. I am and I hope other readers too are learning so much.

  7. aw,, isn't that what a mean is? reminds me of my own man :D yup, not really like the woman...sadly those men in hollywood movies are just hollywood actors :d

  8. Toni, I know what you mean. Sometimes, the movies we see creates an illusion of how love is supposed to be, then we go on trying to find it for ourselves not knowing it's just an illusion after all.

  9. when it comes to love, there's no measurement coz if you continue to measure one another and each other's love, you tend to compete.

  10. I see my man right there! :)

    Not completely but mostly.

    I enjoyed this post. I think I may try and get that book

  11. These 3 P's are true. Personally, these are the things I would like a guy to do too. It's like love him for what he is, not based on the list of what you're looking for, then let the rest of what he is surprise you in the future. :) If in the future, you both fail to acknowledge the good and bad between you two, then, it's not love.

  12. i thought that a woman is more cattish and a man more doggish. but in steve harvey's "love definitions," it seems it's the opposite... lol.

    hmm, i think the 3Ps are the basic elements in a man's love, but surely a man in love gives much more than that.

  13. I agree with Steve Harvey. We have to live with that. Love should not be measured. As long as love's cousins are there: trust and respect, pwede na. =)

  14. Photo Cache, I find it very entertaining to read. Lots of laughs too.

    Eden, I agree. It's a two way process.

    Vitchie, You're right, the 3 Ps are basic elements. I keep thinking there is

    Wits, Well said.

  15. Love and respect are the basic elements of a healthy relationship according to another author. More so, Paul has written a description of true love in 1 Corinthians 13.

    I use to point out what is not done until I realized that whatever is your spouse's not able to do, fill in. I mean, whatever the weakness I see, I try to mend try to mend by doing it instead of complaining. Thus, it becomes an encouragement. In a culture where man is to be served by the woman(mostly in Asia), I do not believe on this criteria in a relationship:). Serve each other instead.

    Oops, I have said so much:).

  16. wish i had time earlier to read this post- que interesante!

    on a general note, i think that we should stop imposing our subjective definition and expectation of what love is and how it is expressed on other people (not just along the gender divide), i am not a fan of prescription. often in doing so we simplify love (as in turning it in three P's) or complicate it to the point of ineffable (which it can become many times)... anyhow, on my man's love i do find the three P's applicable to a certain point, but there is just much, much more to it- the range of emotions are not quite so simple although it is straightforward. i could go into a brief litany about it, but somehow i don't want to do that as, due to my own literary inadequacy, i would inadvertently strip away too much of the nuances that make my relationship with my husband unique and engaging. suffice to say relationships (including and involving love) are potent enough to have inspired centuries of literary writing and attempts at analysis- but after all this time it has never been "perfectly" captured. i guess that says something.

  17. Marriage is mostly compromise.

    For single or married women out there; if your bf or husband hits you hard with open or closed fist, time to get out that union!!

    And that "till death do us part" harped during weddings is quite hypocritical - just count how many marriages ended up in separations and divorces.

    But as we always say: to each his/her own. Cheers!